I have wondered to myself why I chose to post a paragraph or two from my PhD on the experience of recognition and misrecognition - and I can only conclude that I was trying to acknowledge to myself that I was deceiving myself - that, as much as I like to think that I have overcome this disease, there is still a real possiblity that it will return, if indeed it has really left at all. I can not help but think that I am going to die of this disease - and it scares the hell out of me.