Keep your mind in hell and despair not

It is not at all easy to say but, never able to take the line of least line resistance, I have no choice but to simply say that I have just very recently been diagonsed with invasive ductal carcinoma - it is not so easy to say things so straightforwardly! I am lucky in that this is the most common form of breast cancer. I am also fortuante to be told that I am "ER positive" (which logically means that I am both younger as well as older than I actually am) so that it should, at least, be able to be controlled, if not cured, by the now common drug, Tamoxifen. I am, of course, preparing for the worst - not quite The Will - although I have thought about what will become of my books - really forcing me to question my attachment to Hegel, Kierkegaard and Rose - but in fear that I might lose my hair - not much of it already anwyay - I went shopping for wigs today - even if my intention, intially was to just browse - and did in fact purchase one. It has been suggested to me that chemotherapy may not necessarily be necessary but this was the suggestion of a plastic surgeon and not an oncologist and, as much as I might be criticised for prejudging people, I always like to be prepared and anticipate that I will need chemotherapy and that I am, therefore, very likely to lose my hair. The only way in which I can accept this is to see it as a "fashion accessory"